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Fern Canyon

by Anna Gordon

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platschipus
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platschipus Such a warm and wonderful voice, melody, instrumentals, everything! I am troubling everytime i want to listen to a song, but can't decide which one i want to listen to the most. Favorite track: Bury Me High.
Aaron J. Shay (he/him)
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Aaron J. Shay (he/him) This album is a stunning collection of personal, intimate confessions, mixed with powerful images from the natural world. Mystic, cathartic balladry from a talented soul. Favorite track: Please Refrain.
Sarah Shay
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Sarah Shay Anna Gordon is an incredible talent; her vocals are hauntingly beautiful, her lyrics poetry. Let this amazing album break your heart and heal it at the same time. Favorite track: Bury Me High.
Rodent
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Rodent OMG! I was so ecstatic about the new long-awaited release that I pre-ordered without even listening to the sample first. Among other things, I love the many instances of tight vocal layering that turn melodies from single lines into colorful braids. This is a step-up in sophistication for her. For example, compare the subtleties in "Bury Me High" on this album with the older released version. Favorite track: Backseat.
David Johnson
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David Johnson My favorite thing about Anna Gordon is that she's not afraid of life's darknesses. Not only that, but she brings them to life in such a beautiful and bittersweet way. This album was released at perhaps the darkest time in my life to date and was a catalyst for me to reach out for help. Thanks for sharing your perspectives on loss, pain and sorrow, Anna. And for the strength you show. It's encouraging! I highly recommend this album - it's a rich experience to listen. Favorite track: Cancerian.
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  • Streaming + Download

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    The complete album download includes a PDF of the 16-page booklet of lyrics and original artwork.
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in a digipak with a 16-page booklet of lyrics and original artwork.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Fern Canyon via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 14 days

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  • Poster/Print

    Original one-of-a-kind silkscreen prints from the lyric booklet on heavy-weight fine art paper, approximately 11x11". Choose 1 of 3 options.
    ships out within 14 days
    edition of 20 

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1.
Streetlights 02:34
when the streetlights are out i have no doubts all the constellations wash away all my frustrations when the streetlights are out i have no doubts my troubles, they don’t last i don’t worry about my past present or future nature or nurture when the streetlights are out i have no doubts clear speckled inky sky and then i never wonder why and my head clears for a thousand years of light and Gemini and Aquarius fly held together in a gentle web that cradles the sighs in the empty ebb when the streetlights are out i have no doubts it’s just the section before my street where sanity and clarity meet above the field of tall wheatgrass where i can watch the Big Dipper pass and the Ram and the Bull tilt and whirl in the lapse of time, in the eyes of a girl where the lights are out where there are no doubts
2.
i made a home in my heart for us cleared off the shelves gathering dust i made a place to take you in though i know you don't mind the rain or the wind i filled in the cracks and fixed up the wounds i made a warm little spot for you i made a place for your troubles and pain i had everything to lose, everything to gain for you, i even made a bed gave you somewhere to rest your weary head i made some space, i made sure you could fit i dug a hole where the blood runs thick i dug a hole in my heart for us they were lying when they said "all you need is love" i dug a hole in my heart for us but it wasn't enough i dug a hole in my heart for us oh, it was a labor, a labor of love i would give you everything you could need if you'd only stay with me i would give you everything i could give a heart, a home, a place to live but my heart's such a mess and i can't really blame you, hold, control, embrace, displace, or contain you i made a home in my heart for us i must be crazy, it was far too dangerous i dug a hole in my heart for you you just kept digging you pushed right on through i dug a hole in my heart for us oh, it was a labor, a labor of love
3.
Backseat 04:00
woke up in the backseat i'd been bending my knees and i can't even feel my feet my legs are so goddamn weak takes an hour just to walk it off takes an hour just to make the thoughts stop i'm starting my list today right at the top where am i gonna eat, gonna sleep, gonna be? how am i gonna eat, gonna sleep, gonna be? woke up in the backseat i gotta find something to eat don't have much more than stale bread on me i gotta turn to someone's charity call all the people who i thought were my friends when no one answers my resolve starts to bend i'm getting tired of 'rely' and 'depend' those are things that i don't even wanna know but i know i can't do this on my own went to sleep in the backseat hide my head underneath the sheet so the policeman doesn't see me when he does his nighttime rounds on the streets once i spent nearly three months in bed now i can't find one place to lay my head i don't know if i ever get any rest it still feels like there's nowhere to go it still feels like there's nowhere to go woke up in the backseat i'd been bending my knees i gotta find something to eat make sure the policeman doesn't see me woke up in the backseat i don't know if i ever get any sleep doing my nighttime rounds on the streets i lather up, i rinse it out, i repeat woke up in the backseat take a walk and find somewhere to be feeling forsaken and terribly beat i go to sleep in the backseat
4.
On The Mend 04:29
won’t you please get out of my head? you’ve been running around it for weeks on end don’t you ever get tired? please take a rest don’t you ever run out of breath? honey, you’ve been looping endlessly in these wide, wide circles all around me coming in close just to brush past my skin… you’ve got no idea ‘bout the state i am in so, fill me up with love won’t you fill me up with love? fill me up with love! so that i can feel something so that we may begin to bind ourselves again we blind ourselves again won’t you please get out of my bed? there’s a steady stream of unsteady men and i’ve been occupying my time with them just to soothe some inner emptiness honey, without you i don’t feel whole i need you here to have and to hold cause in your absence there’s a push and a pull from the seams trying to mend themselves in my soul so, fill me up with love won’t you fill me up with love? fill me up with love! so that i can feel something so that we may begin to bind ourselves again we blind ourselves again
5.
Cancerian 03:16
i am a fighter i'm in the ring and i have always been since the beginning i am a warrior which means strength but to what length? sometimes i feel faint i am a wanderer but at what cost? sometimes i feel home sometimes i feel lost i am a cancer and i spread i'll meet up with you on your deathbed i am a Cancer hiding in my shell but i’ve got claws made to give you hell i am a lover with an open heart carrion in the sun to be torn apart i am a lover and a fighter too i've got to be both to keep up with you i am a creator with great big plans i’m gonna build my world with these little hands i am a sorceress and i cast my spells into the endless void of the wishing well i am an ocean pulled by the moon i go back and forth but i'm gonna rise soon
6.
7.
Bury Me High 05:12
when i die bury me high take my ashes spread them where i had good luck take my ashes spread them where i was brave do not bury me i do not want to feel stuck do not bury me don't you put me in no grave when i die, let me fly over the mountain down the mountainside and when you lay me down real slow lay me down under the undertow when i'm finally old and gray take me to places far away let me go, and for me sing: "at last you're part of everything." let a teaspoon go in the streets of Seattle where i grew up had little luck (but i was brave) let another go in the State Capitol and all my friends there will feel me in the air when i die bury me high take my ashes spread them where i had great love take my ashes spread them where i was made do not bury me of flight, i've not had enough do not bury me don't you put me in no grave reunite me with the earth we all come from please divide me so at last i can be one carry me to the beaches of oceans my feet often kissed take me to the reaches of the woods that i have missed fly me on a plane to France or Greece or Spain Argentina or Brazil ain't been yet but surely will and if i like the Caribbean let a spoonful mix in with their sands and if i fall in love in the Netherlands let another one out into their winds when i die bury me high take my ashes spread them where i had good luck take my ashes spread them where i was brave do not bury me i do not want to feel stuck do not bury me don't you put me in no grave when i die bury me high
8.
pass the whiskey, pass the gin cause i am young and i may never be again pass the whiskey, pass the gin cause i am the oldest i have ever been and i’m dying every minute so i might as well be living the world told me to stay pure they said, “all you’ve got is this!” condemned them all, the easy cures but it was my own consciousness with which i could experiment with which i made a happy mess (with which i would’ve done no less) and stepped closer to my happiness so will you pass the whiskey, pass the gin cause i am young and i may never be again pass the whiskey, pass the gin cause i am the oldest i have ever been and i’m dying every minute so i might as well be living the world told me all these lies said, “your body is a temple, and you are God” but shoved chemicals and pesticides down my throat - ain’t that a little bit odd? my own business, they poke and prod but it’s not your body, you can’t play God i’m my own person, or have you forgot? and i reserve the right to let me rot so will you pass the whiskey, pass the gin cause i am young and i may never be again pass the whiskey, pass the gin cause i am the oldest i have ever been and i’m dying every minute so i might as well be living pass the joint, or a cigarette with my lungs full it’s easy to forget pass the joint, or a cigarette keeps my mouth busy and it pacifies my head cause i’m dying every minute so i might as well be living i used to fear the addict’s plight and only wished to depend on myself and for a life, feather-light but it was too heavy to deny some help i am not strong, i barely upheld myself inside that shrinking shell and maybe now i’ll go to Hell but at least i always loved my life well and lived everything honestly and heartfelt and i’ve met up with myself, unparalleled but you, you can’t say the same you were too caught up in that “world” game too afraid of death to get busy living you’ll never know the life you're missing so will you pass the whiskey, pass the gin cause i am young and i may never be again pass the whiskey, pass the gin cause i am the oldest i have ever been and i’m dying every minute so i might as well be living pass the joint, or a cigarette with my lungs full it’s easy to forget pass the joint, or a cigarette keeps my mouth busy and it pacifies my head cause i’m dying every minute so i might as well be living
9.
i keep hallucinating nothing's right, nothing's wrong all the world is moving just keeps moving right along maybe i’m just hoping there's something more but then it's gone i keep hallucinating the world is off and then it's on i keep finding empty spaces and my brain keeps filling them all the neat and straight lines i see well my head just makes them bend i keep hearing voices echo but i don’t know who’s talking to me there are ghosts inside my bedroom they watch me while i sleep i keep hallucinating i talk to you but you're far away and it feels far too strange it feels like you: you never stay i keep hallucinating i can't describe it any other way i am going out of my mind but i think it keeps me sane
10.
My Branches 05:07
i was a guest in your succulent realm: a ship lost at sea, and i at the helm your rivers ran deep, through the grooves in your skin and i rowed through them all in a small plastic bin through rapids and white waterfalls i rowed through them all, i rowed through them all i’m too scared to touch in your fragile museum: all these treasures on display, it ain’t enough just to see them i wandered through your branches and pines left only footprints, but took what was mine through cedar and white alder trees all tangled in leaves, all tangled in leaves i climbed your geography to find what made you and what made me i held you close to my skin so that we might lose track of where we begin i felt like a child at play in the grass: curious hands picking up, and then putting back the whole world ached to reach back for me but i hid from its fingers in the trunk of your tree through windstorms and white splintered wood you’ll shelter me good, please shelter me good i climbed your geography to find what made you and what made me i held you close to my skin so that we might lose track of where we begin but why don’t you ever explore my branches, my rivers, my forests, my shores? you never left a footprint or mark save a set of initials you carved in the bark
11.
late last night you came a-knockin’ on my bedroom door told me that you‘d spent time thinkin’ about what we were before admitted to your dumb mistakes said "i will do whatever it takes" and i just stood there, eyes all wide contemplating letting you inside you said "all i know is that i've got no place to go and i'm stuck out in the cold" i said "i don't know. no i don't know if i should believe it just cause you told me so" cause i have felt the painful sting of love and loss and other things but lately i've been feeling numb cause i have chosen to play dumb to love and loss and other things got them all wrapped up in the reins and they won't bother me no more cause i have closed and locked my door late last night while you were talkin’ on the threshold of my home you told me you were growing tired of feeling so alone asked if we could just be friends or even if we could just pretend and i just stood there, eyes all wide said, "honey, that's what i have tried and tried and tried and tried and tried to do but back then it depended all on you and you ignored me like you always seem to do" you said "all i know is that i've got no place to go and i'm stuck out in the cold" i said "i don't know. no i don't know if i should take you back just cause you're all alone" cause i have felt the painful sting of love and loss and other things but lately i've been feeling numb cause i have chosen to play dumb to love and loss and other things got them all wrapped up in the reins and they won't bother me no more cause i have closed and locked my door yes, i have felt the painful sting of love and loss and other things stop appealing to my sympathies no, i am not the one you need you said "all i know is that i've got no place to go and i'm stuck out in the cold" well you should have thought of that before you chose to walk right out my door but it was golden summer then the golden sun, it graced your skin bet you felt wild and free the minute you were leaving me you thought you would be immune to winter's frozen afternoons or that easily you could outgrow the cold, the ice, the sleet, the snow and pretend it was all a golden glow but you can’t do that, honey, i should know please don't come around my door please refrain from knockin’ more you'll find another place to go but it's not here, you oughta know
12.
Follow Me 03:16
follow me down to the forest floor where the deer may roam and the blue jays soar and make of yourself an offering to the forest floor in the midst of spring leave behind your worldly things and know not what your path may bring but if you find yourself in doubt fear not, my friend, all paths lead out no need to go the safest route where little adventure comes about i do not walk through the crowded streets no, the forest floor carries my two feet follow me down to the oceanside to sit in the waves with the incoming tide and make of yourself an offering to the ocean waters in the mist of spring leave behind your worldly things let the salt flow in your wounds and sting but if you find yourself in doubt fear not, my friend, you’ll soon wash out no need to endure the withering drought that’s not what this sweet life’s about i do not walk through the desert no more no, i walk in the sand on the ocean shore i walk through the dirt on the forest floor and i do not fear my life anymore.

about

This album was recorded in 2016 in little wooden cabins in Western Washington, and you can hear a few creaks, some waves from the Puget Sound, and some seagulls. This album was also recorded with strep throat. It is a snapshot of a poignant moment in time. I came of age as I wrote these songs from the ages of 18 to 21.

Thank you to Ariel, Kee, and Ric for making this recording happen. Special thanks to Johanna and Spirit House, Debra, Blaine, Colin, Chrissie, Clara, Amanda, Kasi, Roxy, Abbi, Irene, and all who financially and spiritually supported this album.

Front cover photo by Blaine Ewig.
Back cover and inside photos by Colin Brown.

credits

released November 2, 2018

Anna Gordon - vocals, guitar, cello, piano, percussion
Kee Curlee - bass

Produced by Anna Gordon
Recorded by Ariel Peake in wooden cabins across the Pacific Northwest
Edited by Ariel Peake at K&A Studios
Mixed by Ariel Peake and Anna Gordon at Robert Lang Studios, Seattle, WA
Assistant Engineer - Kee Curlee
Mastered by Ric Vaughan

All songs written by Anna Gordon
Released on Spirit House Records

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Anna Gordon

emotional folk songs, heavy on the lyricism

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